How we heal our Deceased Loved Ones

I had a session recently where a clients’ family came through to thank her for making all the choices they didn’t – that they couldn’t make- in life. Her family had generations of dysfunction and an inability to express love to each other. My client herself was not like that. She had chosen to live her life completely differently than how she was brought up. She went her own way and decided something different for herself.

Her Loved Ones came through to acknowledge their failings and they took responsibility for the fact that she had received very little from them during their lifetimes with her. Then they did something truly amazing - they THANKED HER for choosing differently.

In fact, they went on to say that it was through watching her make different choices than they did - to NOT do it the same, to break the family pattern and create a new pattern where love was expressed openly and joyfully - that she was actually healing her entire family. Those living and those deceased.

As each one of us chooses to rise above the painful situations and challenges in our lives; to break the pattern; to choose love; to find and follow the power of our true selves within we make that same choice available for everybody we are connected to – both living and dead. This is because we are connected to our friends and family through the most powerful energy in the universe – love. As we choose to be in love and truth for ourselves, we help those who are connected to us choose the same for themselves.

This is one of the amazing benefits my clients have received from doing readings – actually getting validation from those on the Other Side that you are in fact healing generations just by empowering yourself.

Pretty great! Thank you Spirit!

What forgiveness REALLY is

There is a huge misconception out there about forgiveness. I feel many people believe that forgiveness means you turn the other cheek, be patient, reserve judgement and let that other person be themselves.

This is not truth.

Forgiveness does not mean allowing someone to continue to treat you badly.

Forgiveness does not mean you make up for the other persons lack.

Forgiveness is seeing thorough the eyes of love. Forgiveness is seeing the other person as showing you something or bringing you an experience that you need in order to grow. It means seeing that the other person is also on their journey and you have come together in this particular circumstance in order to serve one another on a higher level. It means loving that person and loving yourself.

Loving yourself means putting yourself first. I know, I know – that sounds like selfishness, ego and lacking compassion. NOT TRUE.

When you treat yourself in the highest most loving way, you treat the other person in the highest most loving way. The highest good for you is the highest good for them.

If you don't take up your responsibility of standing your ground and being in your truth, than the other person doesn't have the opportunity to learn their lesson. Is it really in the highest good to allow that other person to continue their offensive behavior? Is it more loving to them to help them see how they have affected you and give them an opportunity to see themselves differently? How will they know or see this unless you are truthful with them?

How do you forgive someone and not let the relationship continue in a negative pattern?

The only way it works is if you stand in your own truth. You have to be able to own your own ground and stay in your power. It means calling it out when the objectionable behavior reasserts itself. This can be difficult because it's hard to say the truth when you know the other person won't like what you have to say-where you know they'll probably misinterpret it, where they may lash back at you. The fear of speaking up for yourself and your own truth can be so paralyzing, that people stay in negative relationships their entire lives rather than confront and change it

This is something that often comes up in readings. People seek to connect with their deceased Loved Ones out of love and also out of pain and seeking healing, closure, peace and forgiveness.

The people seeking forgiveness in a mediumship reading are not usually the clients – they are the Spirits.

Now that they are on the Other Side, people who are crossed over can see the affects their actions had on the ones they love and believe me, I have heard many, many apologies. What's most amazing is when the client is able to release their pain and forgive their Loved One. This forgiveness is an amazing force that has the power to transform people instantly.  Such is the power of love.

Exit Points

Every Spirit chooses when they come into physical life, and every Spirit chooses the point when they leave their bodies and return to Spirit.

Before each physical incarnation, each Soul maps out the goals and lessons it wants to experience in its lifetime. The Soul sets up major events for itself in that lifetime and the point of death is one of those events. In readings, Spirit has shown me their physical lives as a timeline with little exits turn offs on it like on a highway. Those exits are points they had built in to their timeline in order to leave. They have the choice on which exit they want to take, based on how their life path has unfolded since coming into the body.  Spirits have told me that if they had not died the way that they had then the end of their life would have occurred in another circumstance, not that long from when they actually did pass.

How do they choose which point to take?

It depends on the trajectory of that souls path in physical life. Things change in our life paths as we shift to make decisions, choose options and grow. But, the souls plan for the physical life is the guiding force in a lifetime. It will choose the circumstances to leave life that best suit it’s life plan. For example, I met a young man in Spirit who had died at a young age from an overdose. He came through to explain that no one was responsible for that choice except for him. He also said that even if he had not died that particular way, he would have died in another circumstance within a year or so of his actual death. His soul had decided beforehand the goals and lessons for his life and it had chosen the exit that was appropriate for his life circumstances. When he had done what he came to do, his soul called it quits and left. It may seem like a tragic young death to us, but that was not how his soul viewed it. The soul had accomplished what it came to do and it was a clear decision to leave. The soul viewed the physical death of that body as part of its larger plan.

Soul Contracts

Many times a death is part of a soul contract. Before coming into physical life the soul group including family/friends/even acquaintances agree upon the growth lessons for each of them and agree to create certain circumstances in order to provide growth opportunities for each member of the group. Since we learn the most about ourselves through our relationships with people we care about, a soul can choose to die a specific way or in a specific timing in order to bring soul level learning to the others in the soul group. Many times it is the death of someone close to you that prompts a spiritual awakening or other significant change in life experience. This is by design. Souls serve each other’s growth on all levels at all times.

The more I learn in my work with Spirit, the more I see that Soul growth is the driving force in all of our experiences.

Sometimes the opportunity for our greatest transformation comes from our greatest challenges.