I had a reading - but the person I wanted to talk to wasn't there - why not?

Sometimes this happens in readings. Clients can have a very clear idea of one person they want to connect with, but this person does not appear. Spirits have many reasons for coming, or not coming, to a reading.  

Here are the most common reasons they will not come forward:

#1.  The Deceased person isn’t ready

Spirits continue to do work on the Other Side and this work means reviewing all of their relationships in physical life. This is an in depth process, and everyone works through it in the way and time that is appropriate for them. At the time of the reading, the Deceased person may not be emotionally ready to step forward and reconnect with their loved ones here on Earth. The Deceased person may not yet be clear about their own message.

2. They may not know HOW

It is a learned skill to communicate when in Spirit, and all Spirits have a different learning curve. Since they no longer have a voice box, they have to figure out the best spiritual senses to use in order to get themselves across clearly. They have to figure out how to use images and how to use words. They need to be able to link with the medium – this means energetically being able to sustain a connection for enough time to be able to present information in a way the medium can understand and relay. The Spirit’s communication ability can also depend on expressive they were in life: maybe your Grandmother, Father or Mother was not the clearest communicator in life. Well, they don’t magically become perfect communicators when they cross over, either. It takes time for Spirits to learn new ways of expressing themselves. Trust me, every Spirit has their own unique way of coming forward, and some are clearer than others!

#3. The Deceased person is in another place

Deceased people are busy on the Other Side. They have many activities and projects they are involved in, some of which we on Earth can’t even know about yet. Deceased people may be in their life review process, or even convalescing in a hospital like environment, which can occur if they suffered a long illness or protracted death. Your Deceased Loved One may be receiving the soul healing they need in order to be able to come forward and reconnect with you again.

#4. Hearing from this Deceased person does not serve the client’s Highest good at this time

Many times what we think we want isn’t exactly what serves us best. It could be that it would be more beneficial to your life path at this time to hear from your Guides, Angels and perhaps other Deceased people, besides the one you have your heart set on.

Who decides this? Your own Spirit.

Your Higher Self is the part of you that lives in the Spirit realm and is completely in connection with your Guides, Angels and Loved Ones in the Spirit Realm. Your Spirit works with the other Spirits before and during a reading to bring forward the messages that you are ready for now.  Your Higher Self is guiding you at all times to be in alignment with your soul path, and it is completely aware of what will best serve you at this point in your growth. Trusting Spirit means also trusting yourself – your Divine self- as it is not only your Angels, Guides and Loved Ones that participate in a reading, it is your Spirit as well.

It is important to remember that in life, and in readings, nobody – no other Spirit - has more power in your world than your own.

So before you lament your reading as “no good” because the person you were hoping for didn’t show up, take some time to re-review the messages that came through. There are gems in there that are the keys to the true reasons for the reading. Also give some time to consider the person you were hoping to hear from.  What were their problem areas in life? Maybe they are getting help for those issues right now, and they need that before they can come to you with an open and loving heart. It never hurts to write them a letter, expressing your wishes that they are doing well on the Other Side and give them the reasons why you want to =reconnect with them. They will hear you, and eventually, you will hear from them as well.

When the time is right.

With love,

Ashley

The fastest way to jumpstart your growth

Fear is actually an amazing tool. When we encounter it we can see exactly where we are out of alignment with our Highest Selves and with our truth within. As a medium I deal with fear all the time – my fear, my client’s fear, sometimes even the fear and anxiety of the Deceased Loved Ones who come to readings and are nervous about the connection about to occur with my client. One thing I have definitely learned is not to let my fear stop me and I have begun to notice that when I feel a great deal of fear about doing something, the fear is a big arrow, pointing at exactly what it is I need to do next.

Recently I read a great book by someone I admire and who is pretty well known in the field of Spirituality. I was really excited about the book and all of the connections I felt between the author’s topic and my own experiences in readings. So I decided to reach out and contact them. As I wrote my email, I found myself offering a reading. I had not planned on doing that, but Spirit suggested it. At the last minute I included the offer and hit send. I didn’t really expect anything to come of it. But guess what? They answered my email and took me up on my offer.

So was I super exited and ready to go? Well, not exactly. Actually I was completely scared. I immediately began to wonder what in the world made me offer that. All of my doubt and fear came to the forefront and I was afraid to do it. I asked Spirit if I should go ahead and do it and they told me it would be OK and to do it anyway. So, I resisted all of my inclinations to back out and I went into the reading trusting Spirit. I decided to focus on the fact that this was happening for a reason and that whatever was about to happen needed to happen. So I just went for it, like I do in every single reading I ever do.

So what happened? Well, Spirit came through like they always do, and there were messages for this person that I believe were the reason for the reading in the first place.

This isn’t the only time I have felt fear about doing things that really matter to me. In fact as a dancer, I encounter fear everyday I dance – fear of trying things again that I have not done well before, fear of getting up in front of people and failing, fear of falling, (literally!). But, I know from experience that unless I try, there is no opening for change. One thing that I have learned is that fear is not a reason not to do something – usually it’s the opposite. Fear is showing you the resistances you have within you that are blocking you from truly living in your path, power and purpose. Now, obviously I am not talking about the kind of fear that keeps you from doing things that will harm you, like jumping off a bridge – I’m talking about the fear you have when you stretch yourself out of your comfort zone and take on something you are not 100% certain you are up for. You set the bar a little higher than you are used to: it’s the fear you feel when you look at that new height and wonder if you can jump clear over it this time. Even if things don’t turn out perfectly, even if you come up slightly short, you have gained experience, knowledge and more understanding of yourself, your desires, your capabilities and a clear idea of where you are in terms of accomplishing your goals. You have cleared the pathway for growth and change where you need it most.

The confidence I gained from stepping through my fear and doing that reading was priceless. It was like I took ten steps forward in one leap. This is how Spirit works. They guide us to take action that they know we are ready for, but maybe we can’t quite see yet. Confidence is only gained by stepping outside of your comfort zone. No one ever grows without taking risks. When you feel fear about taking some action in your life, it is usually your Spirit (and Spirits!) calling to you to step up and go beyond what you think you can do. Your Angels, Guides and Loved Ones are there to guide and encourage you to open up to the larger greatness that lies within you. Part of their guidance is often to grasp things we feel are slightly beyond our capabilities. When you start hearing those old familiar voices in your head saying “oh, I could never do that”, or “that will never work”, you know you are pinpointing exactly the area that needs your attention most. Ask your Spirits for help pushing past the fear. 

When you take the chance and follow through on their guidance, you open the door to miracles. 

with love,

Ashley

4 Easy steps to connecting with Deceased Loved Ones

We all have people on the Other Side that we miss, that we want to connect with again. By now you probably know, or at least have a sense that it is indeed possible for you (yes, you) to actually feel this connection yourself. We are talking about actual direct connection - this is your Loved One's favorite way of connecting with you anyway, so let's get right to it. Here are some quick and easy tips for you to start doing just that, right now:

1. Find a picture of them that you connect with. This should be a picture that brings back an emotional memory-a time, place or situation that somehow brings that love you have for this person bubble up in your heart. Maybe it's a picture of the two of you together, maybe it's a picture of an event you attended together, or maybe it's just that person, doing something that defined them for you. Whatever it is, choose a picture that makes you feel them, remember them, and even get a little emotional about when you look at it. This helps you remember clearly how they feel and puts them in the forefront of your mind. This helps you recognize them when you sense their presence in Spirit.

2. Write a letter of intention to them. Tell them your feelings and state that you are now willing to open your connection with them and that you invite them to visit you. With this letter you are giving them permission to take some steps for you to actually notice their presence-they have been visiting you all along, it's just that you probably haven't noticed! Deceased Loved Ones care about you and they don't want to frighten or scare, you so their presence in your life may be subtle enough that you aren't taking notice. This letter tells them that you are ready to hear from them.

3. Choose a time to practice. Give your Deceased Loved One some times during your day that you will dedicate to paying special attention and awareness to their presence. Tell them that you will be paying extra attention, and give them some times when you will be open. Maybe it's when you are cooking dinner in your kitchen, maybe it's when you're reading stories to your kids at bedtime, or maybe you set aside a few minutes for meditation everyday. Whatever it is, choose a time and tell them that you will be practicing opening your awareness to them during those times for the next week.

4. Practice, practice, practice! All it really takes is for you to open your awareness and believe that it is indeed possible. Remember your chosen time and just let yourself open to receive. Visits from Loved Ones are usually brief, but with a strong emotional connection. For me, I usually have a strong sense that someone is there and then I feel an emotional surge of love coming from them. After that, you can see what you pick up: you may catch a reflection of them or a flash of light, you may smell familiar perfume or hear their voice in your mind. However subtle, however brief, don't worry! This is just the beginning!

Deepening your connection with your Deceased Loved Ones is an ongoing process, and taking these first steps is exciting, fun and pretty amazing. The most important thing to remember is that your Loved Ones are indeed around you and you do have the ability to pick up on their presence. Please share your experiences here and let me know if I can help!

With love,

Ashley 

How to get the better information and answers from Spirit

Our Guides, Angels and Loved Ones in Spirit are like parents, guiding you their child, through life. They can see the bigger picture, they have insight to share and they only want you to do well. Spirit responds to the questions you ask them and they can guide you into a deeper understanding of where you are, what challenge you are facing, why and how to handle it. But, they can only give you answers if you are asking them questions that allow them to get at the real issues at hand.

If you are asking questions about some area of your life and not feeling like you are really getting guidance, sometimes that can indicate that the questions you are asking are not actually what it is you want to know. Your questions may not be not giving Spirit the opportunity to give you the guidance you are seeking. Review what you are asking  - is it really the question you are looking to answer?

For example, maybe you are having relationship issues with your partner, you ask Spirit what you can do to change the situation and you are getting vague answers. This is an indication that it’s time to find the real issue. Try asking different questions to shed morelight on what it is you want to know.

What about asking things like:

• What is in the Highest Good here?
• How can I best help myself right now?
• Can you help me to see what needs healing in this relationship?
• What am I learning from this situation with this person?
• How can I help my partner be their Highest self?
• What do I need to release in order for this situation to move forward? What actions can I take right now to effect change for the Highest and greatest good?

These questions are different than just asking Spirit what to do. The more specific you can be about what it is you want to know, the more actionable information you will receive!

Reviewing, reworking and reframing your questions about the areas in your life you are seeking guidance on will accomplish two things:

It will help you to see the truth beneath the truth. 

Every problem area is a symptom of a larger issue at work, so in order to get at the real truth of what’s happening, your question needs to be a level deeper than just the surface of the problem. Searching for this truth beneath the truth will help you to see the forces that are actually at work. There’s the personality level of the problem (he’s drinking a lot and it’s bothering me) and there’s the Spirit level of the problem (What purpose is his drinking serving for him? How can I help him heal that?) Look for the Spirit truth, one step past the personality/ego truth.

The more specific the question, the more specific the answer. 

The more you can get closer to asking the Spirit truth, the more you will receive guidance that will show you the value and purpose of why you are going through what you are going through. Now, you may not always like what you hear, but at least you know you are getting at what it is you actually need to know from Spirit in order for your soul to grow!

Learning how to really communicate with Spirit is a life long process that is constantly changing and shifting. Taking some time to really address how and what you are asking of Spirit will bring your connection with them that much closer. If you would like some help finding the questions to ask, we can work together in a reading and get to the heart of the matter!

with love,

Ashley